The Exit is to the Left..

One of three things has just occurred and now you sit staring at the screen.

1. You completely believe that I am awesome at its finest and you are waiting with bated breath on my latest entry so that you can stay up to date on the happenings of my life.

2. You currently parent a teenage daughter (or son) and you can somehow sympathize with the misery and struggles that these alien lifeforms have invoked upon us.

3. You stumbled to this site through another means and you are fearful that you will not make it out without being somehow warped into believing that child-rearing during the adolescent years is scary and frustrating while still being funny as hell.

If it is one of the first two then I would like to take a moment to welcome you to my humble abode. I don't provide milk and cookies, but I'd be glad to offer you a frozen mixed drink from the pouch. You have not entered a typical mommy blog and you are certainly not looking at the average mommy. I parent a teenager and that means I need a thick skin, a good sense of humor and possibly protection from warfare at any time. Hanging around here long enough will ensure you also have the tools you need to raise, and potentially torture, your own teen.

If, however, you fall into example number three then I have to advise you to leave as quickly as possible. I am on a mission to brainwash all parents into my way of thinking and I can't promise that you won't be next on my list. Your accidental landing on this page could result in such dangerous symptoms as fits of laughter, the ability to tease your own child and a sense of calm that comes from knowing you are not alone. You can quickly collect your valuables, place your seat in the upright position and find the nearest exit.